Lately I've been feeling crazy. So much is going on, I can't even think straight anymore. The only thing I've been focusing on is my play...it's the reason I get up each morning. I go to rehearsal and just feel inspired. And my cast, I feel like we learn something new from each other everyday. But tomorrow is it. It is all over and I will be forced to face the reality of the whirlwind of issues that are spinning around my head. I've pushed them aside, blocked them out for weeks. Now they are here. My love and my passion and my joy and my lust...they are all here...waiting for an answer. I don't know what to tell them...
"...Why do you hold me as I cry and hush my fears to calm, when the dust that taunts my fragile eye is blown from your own palm?..." Current Mood: confused
I often wonder what he is thinking when he walks through the door. He looks around, as I would, I suppose, and recognizes immediately the things that have changed. My God, the things that have changed. Does he see me sitting here, or does he see her...that girl I used to be? Tonight he saw a picture...a new memory in an old frame, a familiar frame. A new girl, a different girl, in a familiar body...
"...It is a painful discovery to look at a photograph and realize it is not the image of everlasting emotion; it is simply the image of a moment. A moment in time - shared with someone whom, during that moment, made you feel like the world was in the palms of you hands. But as soon as the flash fades, the moment is gone - and you have only the memory of it and a still image of your short happiness in a gold-trimmed frame. But behind that frame, does the moment live on in a world of its own? Or does it simply sit on a shelf in purgatory between the happiness it brought you and the sorrow it left you with? Still images of life. Moments in time. Collecting dust but still painfully vibrant behind the glass and in your mind..." Current Mood: nostalgic
I've been thinking a lot the last few weeks. Ever since I got back from New York, I've had this void inside of me. I know this is going to sound crazy, but it's not the kind of void that makes me feel like I'm missing something. It's a kind of void that makes me feel like I've found something...a part of me...that's just out of my reach. People keep asking me what I want to do after I graduate. I am still so unsure, but ever since i got back, I feel like now I have a compass...I have a direction...
"Today I woke up in an unfamiliar bed
My body ached as thoughts of last night projected through my head
Oh yes, I am here –a place that two days ago I called home
Today it feels different
Though surrounded by familiarity, today I feel alone..." Current Mood: contemplative